The old French military flag was three white Fleur-de-lis on a field of white. From the Blitz to Brexit, weve prided ourselves on our ability to laugh through a crisis. Why did the British tea maker deliver the tea packages himself even though he was sick? I liked the absence of harassment of women in the streets; France has a lot to learn here. Why did we get a Newcastle? What did the loanshark say to the Frenchman who loaned some money? I won't pretend that the French and British are bosom buddies, but they no longer see . Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. There are only a few. Why did the woman hate being alone in a deserted street in France? Making fun of our best enemies, said Romain Seignovert, who has just published a book on the jokes Europeans tell about their neighbours, is a great European tradition. 111. They had reached full 'capaci-tea'. From the Brits calling the French cheese-eating surrender monkeys and the French referring to the English as roast beefs, no one is ready to let that traditional rivalry rest. Why were the British salty about losing America? https://leap.london/culture-shocks-humour-across-cultures/, https://www.scarymommy.com/england-jokes-puns, https://historyfangirl.com/jokes-about-england-puns-england-instagram-captions-whatsapp-status/. The performer asks if the can all see him. 192. The French engineers insisted it was only a temporary remedy to a broken line elsewhere in the plant. He surrendered." If you want more puns, you can look into our other articles on geography puns and baking puns. As an Amazon Associate, Kidadl earns from qualifying purchases. Some of these are really too good. What is written in the book of the French Constitution? 120. 84. An English cat named OneTwoThree and a French cat named UnDeuxTrois decided to swim across the lake, but only one cat survived the journey. One of them says, "I had a business but it burned to the ground. I haven't talked to him in a while, so I don't know if he is sick 'Orwell' anymore. It's never been shot and only dropped once! How do you know James bond is British? (In case you were wondering, yes, British cars with their right-hand drive are legally allowed to drive on French roads. Because they hate Toulouse. 16. 10. How did the French woman feel after dressing up for her dinner date? What do people in France meet someone they haven't met in a long long time? Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. The British wanted to find out why the head of a mans penis was larger then the shaft. How does one usually feel after visiting France? 139. You could have bought the same one just down the street for $5,000., A Greek motorist parks his car outside the parliament in Athens. That being said, the French do have a few jokes about their anglo neighbors to the north, generally focusing on the Brits being reserved, having bad teeth, being terrible cooks, or lacking sexual . But it is also the Finns who snicker at overbearing Swedes (Whats the difference between the Swedes and the Finns? ", 71. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. 41. I erected a monument to a famous French general and president. Why don't Americans spell "color" like "colour?" We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. 77. But, then, perhaps, theyve been laughing at us for years, and we just havent noticed? Have you ever wanted to break the ice in a conversation but could not come up with anything? You can read more French wine quotes here. 47. The visitor replies "I didn't realize that was still a requirement.". 143. I think it is better to make drinking tea a habit since it provides you with a lot of health benefits. Turns out I didn't have a case. Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan espaol?" Ultimately, Seignovert said, laughing at our neighbours is recognising, even celebrating, our particularities. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. But Seignovert, remember, is French, so what he says should clearly not be taken too seriously. Inch by inch. Translated quote in French: LAngleterre a bti Londres pour son propre usage, la France a bti Paris pour le monde entier. American Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher. During one stage of the visit, he was travelling in the Royal Carriage with Her Majesty the Queen. The past tense of William Shakespeare. ), Original in French: Franais et les Anglais sont de si bons ennemis quils ne peuvent sempcher dtre des amis. Why does everyone love visiting France? But even though we give the French a lot of slack. The plane is very heavily loaded, and is falling to the earth. Going back into English and French history, for all those conflicts, we have English actor Peter Ustinovs quote about the past, present, and future. Here are the funniest quotes and jokes about Britain and France about life, language, food, and love. You have subscribed to: Remember that you can always manage your preferences or unsubscribe through the link at the foot of each newsletter. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. We went back through the history books and calculated that in roughly 1,000 years of history there have been a total of 250 years of war in 30 conflicts between France and England and millions of deaths, most of them, unlike Hastings, outside of England., Carle suggests the roots of the current love-hate relationship between France and England dates back to Joan of Arc in the 15th century. I hope your Degas great! Baguette up about it! Why did the French choose the cockerel as their national symbol? It keeps me grounded. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!". She is fond of classic British literature. What do you call a Dollar Store in England? If you liked our suggestions for French Jokes then why not take a look at something different like sheep puns or river puns. What do you call a London train that is full of lecturers? Qui dautre aurait pu penser un ballon ovale? French novelist Pierre Mac Orlan. Why do British people say, "I'm Bri ish"? What can I get you fellas? Her sister was coming over with her new French husband, and she wanted to impress him with escargot. ', 91. You can rather read up on some unique jokes. 65. Why did the woman have a horrible time in London? A. David Letterman, Q: What are they calling the Germans, French and Belgians, at the Pentagon?A: "The Axis of Weasels.". Did you hear about the small chicken that lived in a Parisian opera house? I must say, at least the Brits dont try to drink coffee in a bowl! Are you looking for the funniest artistic joke in French to impress your French friends? What do you do if you're driving your car in central London and you see a space man? I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. "I can't handle your luggage, I'm only a 're-porter'", he chuckled. 164. 31. Which days are the strongest? A ton of money. 47. Having an After Eight at 7.30); and the Poles, who have a go at the Germans for pretty much anything (German footballers are like German food: if theyre not imported from Poland theyre no good). The Portuguese mock the supercilious Spanish, the Macedonians pity Greek mens sexual prowess, and everyone has a go at the Belgians. The priest was to be the first to meet his fate. But it is our custom to allow you to choose your own death." I love France. Still, he perks up: At a time when everyone watches the same television series, listens to the same music and has the same cultural references, its good that there are so many differences between countries that are so close. Click here for more information. I thought it would be easier to be English, he admits, during an interview at the Rpublique of Coffee (questionable Gallic credentials) in Paris. With the insurance money I was able to retire here.". 'All-quid.'. Oh for crying out loud! If you learn French, then puns can make it easier too. A portion of these amusing English endlessly kids about Londoners will take your breath away! Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. 86. 43. What do Great Britain and houseguests have in common? It's 'soda pressing'. 127. He thought that maybe if he learned some French it would help. A wealthy Frenchman was showing off his yachts. 'Mortali-tea'. Why can't British people go to North Korea? 153. Then he decided to make a sandwich from scratch, including growing his own wheat and catching his own tuna. Original in French: Un homme qui parle trois langues est trilingue. An English steak hideously overcooked and ruined further by the addition of ketchup and mayonnaise.. 114. When she heard this, Hillary said, 'Shut up, I'm trying to win this thing.'" Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon. Now, although I feel more French, I have a greater respect for the English, because I realise Im not one of them. An ex-policeman explains why cop jokes are so funny. It is a matter of national 'sovereign-tea'. Apart from our jokes, obviously Here are some of Europes finest comic minds giving their take on us, from our eccentricities and our bathroom habits, to sporting passions and our current Brexit dilemmas. And the beer is excellent! 80. 36. Peter Ustinov. A British man loved to live in fantasy land. They were a little 'tea'd' off. John McCain, "They've taken their own precautions against Al Qaeda. My father is a bus driver that circles Big Ben in London. "Pop. Which is good 'cause if she ever becomes first lady she'll need to apologize for her husband in at least those four languages." 18. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. 151. Some of them are pretty crude and unsubtle, but theyre rarely downright nasty. The breakfast of champignons. As he stepped onto the platform the executioner asked him "Father, would you like to meet your maker face up or face down? When you come back, you better have my Monet. Europe is the migrant crisis, the Greek crisis, the euro crisis. What did the French lover say to his wife who was late for work? 14. 135. Why do people say "break a leg" when you go on stage? 14. Carles documentary, to be aired on Canal+ in September, opens at a re-enactment of the Battle of Hastings won by William the Conqueror in 1066. What had the son said to his mom when she expressed her worry about him going to Big Ben? Europe isnt just political and economic, its also cultural about all these nations, living together. Chacun se bat pour ce qui lui manque! #MonsieuretMadame Strile n'ont pas d'enfant. 200. 21. 37. A 29-year-old Frenchman who studied in Spain and Germany and now lives in Brussels, Seignovert said the jokes underlined the adage that teasing is a sign of affection. Since much of the English royal court (from William the Conqueror and beyond) was originally French, it is this influence that has seeped into English. A French, a Brit, and an American are on an expedition in the Amazon They are captured by a tribe of natives. Why did children always have toys mainly a 3-foot distance from English kings? It's called 'British Hairways'. And Marmite? Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. So the Germans could march in the shade. During this journey, he visits Basildon (having been told it is the heart of Middle England), discovers the mysteries of the British pub, jellied eels, afternoon tea, imperial measures and Marmite. Just say no, he says. Her friend replied, "So am I, let's have a cup of tea.". Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. This confused my British husband since I never get that much tea. 66. "Sergeant," said the colonel, "what is that camel doing there?". So the other one could drive! Why shouldn't you argue with someone while riding the London Eye? Jimmy Fallon, "The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq." Why can't a leopard hide? Frenchman Benjamin Carle likes a challenge. The Macedonians giggle at the (lack of) machismo of Greek men: If you knew how to cook and clean, says a Greek husband to his wife, I wouldnt need a maid. If you knew how to make love, replies the wife, I wouldnt need a Macedonian lover., The only exception are the Italians, who rather endearingly make jokes mainly about themselves: Your wife cracked such a good joke the other day, I almost fell out of bed. Notice on an Italian bus: dont talk to the driver, he needs his hands., Otherwise, though, the Belgians love nothing better than teasing the penny-pinching Dutch: (How do all Dutch recipes begin? Vive la diffrence! Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?A: Sunburned armpits. Andouille. Parton who? With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. Si bons ennemis quils ne peuvent sempcher dtre des amis man loved to live in fantasy land London... In French: Un homme qui parle trois langues est trilingue taken too seriously in common that Big. 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Https: //leap.london/culture-shocks-humour-across-cultures/, https: //www.scarymommy.com/england-jokes-puns, https: //historyfangirl.com/jokes-about-england-puns-england-instagram-captions-whatsapp-status/ a leg '' when come. Just havent british jokes about the french someone while riding the London Eye you argue with someone while riding the Eye... Get that much tea. `` amusing English endlessly kids about Londoners will your! People go to North Korea chicken that lived in a while, so he!